First Valuable Israeli Lesson

Tel Aviv 4/17/2012

As many of you may already have read, I was enrolled in an intensive Hebrew language studying course and absorption program called Ulpan Etzion, located in Jerusalem. Every day I would sit in class learning this semi-familiar Semitic language (I’ve taken lessons in it before) and try to understand the Israeli mindset and culture and adopt it for my own. Outside the classroom I was also beginning to learn a lot of useful things and felt that I was really starting to familiarize myself with the culture a little bit more…for instance there are seven grammatical building blocks in the Hebrew language and knowing and understanding them actually do help you to speak; interestingly enough the most difficult Hebrew words to read in newspapers or on street signs are those transliterated from English; to get any administrative things done involving the State of Israel you must visit a minimum of three separate offices (which can be nearly impossible with their sporadic hours); it is advised to never question authority, but to yell and argue instead; it is culturally acceptable to push your way to the front of the bus line and DO use your backpack to achieve said objective; as you are entering a building with a large bag tell security point blank that you are not carrying any weapons and make sure they believe you and let you enter through with just symbolically “feeling” the bag and not actually opening and looking. 

I really felt like a baller and that I “got” what it was like to act Israeli. However yesterday evening, while spending some time with my good friend Kasa Bayisin and her friend Eldad, I was taught, in my opinion, my First Valuable Israeli Lesson.

One of the great things about April in Israel is that you get to celebrate the holiday of Passover, which means spending a lot of time with family, eating a whole lot of anything except for bread, and lucky for me since I’m still not working a real job yet, also hanging out with friends until very late at night all week long. So Kasa, Eldad and I had gone out for a couple of drinks, it was getting late, and I was starving. Eldad had recommended this steak place that makes the Israeli equivalent of a Philly Cheesesteak (sub ground beef for real steak, minus the cheese, plus a ton of delish add ons) where I could grab something to eat on my way home. It was swarming with 18 to 20-something year old drunk Israeli boys/men. In traditional Israeli fashion they shoved their way in front of me in line, shouted their orders and got served their food before I had the chance to protest the barbarianism of it all. 

And that’s when Eldad stepped in and gave me his profound advice on how to get served. He told me “Shira, you really want to learn how to be Israeli? If you really want to be Israeli, you Take the money from your wallet, Put It in your hand, and Shove It in cashiers face while yelling your order to him. That’s how you will get served.” What could I do? I was really put to the challenge!

So, doing all I could to suppress my 24 years of American learned manners and etiquette, I did as instructed, was successful as promised, and shortly after received and ate my sandwich. While walking home with sandwich in hand, I was able to relish not only in the delishousness of the food that I worked so hard to order, but also in the delightful feelings of knowing that with some encouragement and effort, I too am capable of transforming into a real Israeli. זה הוא!